Yes, I’m mad! All this fear just makes me mad. I’m mad that our democracy appears to be dying and that so many people are suffering along with me. There is no discussion though. People are afraid. Afraid of opinions, afraid of disagreement, afraid to stand up to authority, afraid NOT to stand up to authority, afraid of homelessness, afraid of being shot, afraid of continued loss of rights, afraid of pregnancy, afraid of religious people, afraid of non-religious people, afraid of criminals, afraid of the police, afraid of protestors, afraid of immigrants, afraid of politicians & political parties, afraid that we’ll feel this helpless forever.

I hear so many threats of violence and civil war that I’m actually starting to question my “I’ll never own a gun” philosophy. As a lover of peace, that was unimaginable for me 6 years ago.

I’m a white, married, middle class, suburban, Christian, cishet mom that feels completely unsafe around that same demographic. I’m also ashamed of being part of this privileged class that benefits from the oppression of others.

We all draw the line of what is acceptable to us personally and yet we’re overly focused on what our neighbors are doing. Judging others has become a national pastime as we ignore our own misconceptions. I say we, because I am just as guilty as everyone else. I don’t want to be so judgmental, but the next item is so important to me that I can’t just ignore it.

Truth is not negotiable. I have heard many people say recently that “truth is relative”. No, it’s not. The truth is the reality of any situation, not opinion or spin. Either something is true or it isn’t, whether it’s our reality or not. I judge people that state opinion as fact.

I started this blog to work out my own feelings about the extreme proliferation of unkindness. I believed at the time that U.S. politicians and the press were working us all into a lather over the definitions of freedom and justice, serving their own purposes. I thought that we would regain our senses and look for truth. That hasn’t happened because dogma is being accepted as truth.

As a person of faith, I understand that my faith system requires dogma that’s not based on proven fact. Religions have always manipulated doctrine regarding truth and justice as a way to instill societal conformity. While I find that contemptable, I don’t blame God. Humans are flawed beings who seem to default on blaming others for that fact. I feel more comfortable believing in a higher power while not requiring any other human in my life to do so. Every belief system has elements of truth that can be respected.

That said, I believe that democracy is dying in the United States because we have ignored and distorted a primary foundation of our government, the separation of church and state. Politicians have made my God hateful and intolerant. Judgmental and retaliatory. Angry and insulting. They’ve even made Jesus white and Mary a whore. Fear creates power, but it also topples governments. This power play is a dangerous game that only ends in suffering. I worship a loving God, but I’m having a really hard time seeing Him right now. Please don’t judge me for that. It’s the truth.